I'm done taking things personally.

Really - why must everyone take things so personally all the time? I now I'm "guilty" of it. I take most things personally, when I know that I shouldn't, and that it doesn't necessarily make sense - waste of mind - making so many assumptions. Does he/she think I'm pretty? If he/she does, does he/she think I'm more pretty than "most"? If they do not, or - if I happen to think that they do not, then I feel devastated, worthless, stupid. . . you get the idea.

So I'm starting a new thought today - don't take things personally. Don't try and assume you know what a person's actions are for, why they did what they did, what they meant by what they said/did, etc. It does no good. So, don't take it personally. When you start to feel offended, remember - it's not personal. It's not about me - it's about them - when someone says you're this or you're that, that is that person's opinion. It is only an opinion, and it does not define you as a person. You define you as a person - you are the only one who truly knows who YOU are. And it's the same for everyone else. So don't try and CONVINCE people of things, because they've got their own opinoins, and you wouldn't want them to CONVINCE you of things, either.

It's not personal, so don't take it personally. Let it go. Don't read into things. Don't make assumptions.

Day One - Juice Fasting

Well, I did pretty good today with my juice fasting. I had about three glasses of different juices all day long. I felt pretty crappy for a while (like my stomach was empty and grumbling for more), but then by early evening it had calmed down, and I got this streak of energy. I still have it, actually, and I'm pretty impressed. I guess whenever I have a long list of things to do, I'll just go on a brief juice fast, and get all of my shit done, pronto!

I have realized that I eat out of pure boredom sometimes. I eat when I have nothing else to do, or when I don't want to do what I need to be doing around the house, or whatever. Not such a good habit to have - but I've had it since I was young. I guess it's time to get rid of the bugger, huh? I think it will sting for a few days, but I'll deal with my mind, and get it under control. Today was not as bad as I had predicted it would be. I just really want to put something in my mouth, to chew something. I really am excited about reaching my goal, however, so I will stick to this. I will have a better planned diet when all of this is through.

Anyway, I guess I'll go find something else to do until I feel sleepy. I don't feel too sleepy right now, and I've allowed myself a beer once in a while, because of all the obstacles I face through this fast - not smoking, exercising more, and drinking fucking juice all day long - a beer once in a while will be fine.

One-week fast

Well, tomorrow I will begin the first day of my one-week experiemental fast. Then, at the end of one week, I will see how things are going, how I'm feeling, how I'm looking, and then go from there - either I'll 1.) Go for another period of time, or 2.) Stop and make new rules as far as eating and exercise and nutrition go.

I am excited to take responsibility for my body, and to take control of my body. I look forward to quitting smoking, quitting binge-eating, quitting dissing my body. . . the list goes on and on and on.

But -

Tomorrow I will take control of my body with my mind, and I will nurture my body back to a blank slate, and then slowly introduce things I wish to introduce to it. I will say goodbye to junk food, unhealthy foods such as hamburger helper, and for once in my short life, GAIN CONTROL OF MY LIFE.

I will post throughout my first week.