What a great day.
God, what a great day.
I'm really enjoying this experience. I get a little anxious sometimes, and a little crazy, but I'm really enjoying it.
Take yesterday for example -
I haven't been texting him much, because of my large txt bill. I texted him something sort of random and endearing - "I miss your voice." And he and i texted back and forth for a while. He asked if I wanted to hang out tomorrow (usually I ask him to hang out, I just can't help myself - but today and yesterday, I did.) - it was really nice. We usually hang out alone, and this time we were going to hang out with his best friend and a girl his friend likes. Turns out she was the same girl that was over when I was really hazed out from the first smoke out with my new bong (that he went with me to buy). The experience was not one I wanted to remember, for the most part, and I told him so. He said that his friend kept telling him he wanted him to tell me he was really sorry for the antics and the scene. So I told him it was cool, and that I would do it. It sucked for a while, but was generally pleasant. I got a little bored once in a while. But it was a good experience. Kind of a door opener. Got to know the best friend a little, chatted with the chica, who was funny and interesting. . . gave his mom a hand massage. . . she invited me to thanksgiving dinner. She made dinner for her other son and daughter in law, and i met them and her grandson, who is SO cute. Got to cuddle a little. Got to see him around the babe, and it was adorable. I knew it would be. Irresistable, is what he is. And he wonders why I get so crazy once in a while. Fuck. I'm falling in love with him, he's so perfectly irresistable, and what I need. What I want. What I dream about. What I fantasize about. What I think about. But I'm trying to honor him wanting to take this slow. It's proving to be difficult. Very difficult. I catch myself, I draw myself back. I let myself go, I catch myself in time. Ugh. I hope it's worth it in the end, or this will turn out to be very painful indeed.
Anyway, sidetracked. We all chattered for a while, then went back to my house. I enjoyed seeing what they thought of the apartment, made me feel good. And we all started drinking, and had the drinking game going, watching coffee and cigarettes. I was made (with him) (although my beer had just been opened) to chug my beer, because I started drinking too soon. hehe. I chugged it and they were impressed. He kept spilling his beer on me! It was annoying, but endearing,a nd I was drunk, so I didn't care too much. Lol. We flirted and had fun, and he realized (fucking finally) that I needed some touching, really. So we played, and then we went into the bedroom for the night with a movie, and they were in the living room. We had really good sex twice, drunk nonetheless, very good sex for being drunk, let me tell you. Fuck it was good. It's always good. Except when we're both really tired or burned out. Like this morning. Meh, although he is so fucking good with his fingers, and he always gives. He always gives. It's really sweet. I love that about him.
The rest of it kind of sucked, until we cuddled this morning on the couch, and I got to rub his muscles and soothe him, after all the soothing he does for everyone else. I have to make a point not to take advantage of him being such a nice person. I have to. Everyone does it to him, I know it. I don't want to be one of those people to him. I want not to hurt him or take advantage of him. I want to do right by him. :)
Now? I'm hungover a lot.
I'm really enjoying this experience. I get a little anxious sometimes, and a little crazy, but I'm really enjoying it.
Take yesterday for example -
I haven't been texting him much, because of my large txt bill. I texted him something sort of random and endearing - "I miss your voice." And he and i texted back and forth for a while. He asked if I wanted to hang out tomorrow (usually I ask him to hang out, I just can't help myself - but today and yesterday, I did.) - it was really nice. We usually hang out alone, and this time we were going to hang out with his best friend and a girl his friend likes. Turns out she was the same girl that was over when I was really hazed out from the first smoke out with my new bong (that he went with me to buy). The experience was not one I wanted to remember, for the most part, and I told him so. He said that his friend kept telling him he wanted him to tell me he was really sorry for the antics and the scene. So I told him it was cool, and that I would do it. It sucked for a while, but was generally pleasant. I got a little bored once in a while. But it was a good experience. Kind of a door opener. Got to know the best friend a little, chatted with the chica, who was funny and interesting. . . gave his mom a hand massage. . . she invited me to thanksgiving dinner. She made dinner for her other son and daughter in law, and i met them and her grandson, who is SO cute. Got to cuddle a little. Got to see him around the babe, and it was adorable. I knew it would be. Irresistable, is what he is. And he wonders why I get so crazy once in a while. Fuck. I'm falling in love with him, he's so perfectly irresistable, and what I need. What I want. What I dream about. What I fantasize about. What I think about. But I'm trying to honor him wanting to take this slow. It's proving to be difficult. Very difficult. I catch myself, I draw myself back. I let myself go, I catch myself in time. Ugh. I hope it's worth it in the end, or this will turn out to be very painful indeed.
Anyway, sidetracked. We all chattered for a while, then went back to my house. I enjoyed seeing what they thought of the apartment, made me feel good. And we all started drinking, and had the drinking game going, watching coffee and cigarettes. I was made (with him) (although my beer had just been opened) to chug my beer, because I started drinking too soon. hehe. I chugged it and they were impressed. He kept spilling his beer on me! It was annoying, but endearing,a nd I was drunk, so I didn't care too much. Lol. We flirted and had fun, and he realized (fucking finally) that I needed some touching, really. So we played, and then we went into the bedroom for the night with a movie, and they were in the living room. We had really good sex twice, drunk nonetheless, very good sex for being drunk, let me tell you. Fuck it was good. It's always good. Except when we're both really tired or burned out. Like this morning. Meh, although he is so fucking good with his fingers, and he always gives. He always gives. It's really sweet. I love that about him.
The rest of it kind of sucked, until we cuddled this morning on the couch, and I got to rub his muscles and soothe him, after all the soothing he does for everyone else. I have to make a point not to take advantage of him being such a nice person. I have to. Everyone does it to him, I know it. I don't want to be one of those people to him. I want not to hurt him or take advantage of him. I want to do right by him. :)
Now? I'm hungover a lot.
posted by Sea Change at 12:10 PM
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