$100 bill.

I get paid $50/week to earn my way into becoming an appraiser, and helping my father with projects. He pays my brother $20/hr. to help with projects, and is helping him build several houses so that he can get out of debt. I am always looked at as the charity case, like I will take anything I can get and not ask for any CENT more than I deserve. I feel that I have earned at LEAST $100/week and when I have been paid in the recent past to work for my dad, I have made $10/hr. Last week I worked at minimum, 30 hours. I made $50, and "worked extra hard" for an extra $50, which netted me $100. I should not have to work that extra hard ($50 extra for a job that would have netted me $300) for nothing in return. I should not have such a big favor held over my head. If I had known he would hold it over my head and treat me like a slave, or something of equal value, I would not have agreed to move here and do this in the first place. It is belittling. It is ridiculous, and it makes me think of my dad as an asshole tight-was sonofabitch. I am going to show him that I deserve at LEAST a fucking $100 bill every week. Jesus Christ.

Move Along

I badly want to go to the smoke shop to buy cloves. I lost my neat-o lighter at a guy's house the other night, and I need butane for my other lighter.

The guy that I was hanging out with is a guy that I went to middle school with for one year, and he has been around for most of my life. Our dads were business partners, you see. I never really hung out with him, however, and so we decided to hang out for a few hours, and smoke some herb. Needless to say, I was not feeling well for the entire day, and after one huge hit, I got dizzy-dizzy and needed to hug and kiss the toilet for a while. His mom, who is actually pretty cool, came home with her boyfriend, and her asshole boyfriend got upset, and yelled for a while and then left. His mom babied me, and I slept it off in my car after a while. I woke up, cold, in the dark, and with a splitting headache.

The whole situation was weird to me, however, first of all, because of the getting sick. Secondly, I was keenly aware that I could be found out by my parents if the wrong person let something leak out. I am not used to that feeling, as I haven't felt that since about a year and a half ago, when I moved out of the parents' house. I was not happy about feeling that way again. It made me feel young and stupid. I am young, but I am not stupid, although it wasn't the smartest thing to hang out at his mom's house, anyway.

So, I want my lighter back. And I want a smoke. And I need to go wash my car, but I'm feeling lazy, and don't want to care about what my car looks like.

My evil older sister got a bad haircut, and was showing it off to me today. The experience made me happy, seeing as how hair and beauty and all of that (not MY hair and MY beauty, but my knowledge of it; I went to beauty college) is one of my niches. She normally has beautiful hair, but it looked all chopped-up, and she can be SO annoying and bitchy that it made me smile to see her hair that way.

Getting Spoiled?

I think that maybe I don't like HB's friend because he is JUST like most all of the guys I USED to be attracted to, and after Patrick, I am extremely turned-off by guys like him. And, furthermore, I don't want a guy like 'those guys' around him, because I don't want him to be spoiled. Good things are spoiled by bad things.

I have two new kittens, and they are the cutest little guys ever. They are very affectionate, and are having the time of their lives exploring.

CHRIS!

I'm so pissed off. I hadn't talked to HB on the phone for a few days, and last night I was supposed to call, but fell asleep instead, so I called at noon today instead. I called once, and the line was busy, so I called again five minutes later, and it rang and rang, and it was hung up for some reason. Then it was busy, then I got through, finally. Then I found out the reason why I didn't get through in the first place was because HB's friend that I despise was there. So I told HB that I would call later, or that he should call when his friend had left. I don't think it's polite, for one reason, to talk to girlfriends/boyfriends/significant others while other people are in the room/building/whatever, for another reason, I hate this particular guy HB hangs out with. This guy he hangs out with makes me look at HB with distaste, and no one or thing does that with HB. This guy makes my blood boil. The last time HB and I had had to discuss him was a few days earlier, when HB told me, to my disgust, that his friend had asked advice on eating a woman out. So of course, being the good friend that he is, described how he eats ME out, to this person that I disgust more than anyone. If I call, he's going to his house, been to his house, or has him over, or at the very least, has something to say about him.