Cynicism

I was looking for old acquaintances and people I grew up with on MySpace just now, and I found a couple younger friends or neighbor friends I grew up with, and I came to the realization: when did I become so cynical? I don't really enjoy being cynical, and therefore, now that I realize I am, I don't want to be. Although in my job I need to be relatively cynical to fit into the industry (real estate).

How does one stop being cynical?


Cyn-ic
- noun


1. a person who believes that only selfishness motivates human actions and who disbelieves in or minimizes selfless acts or disinterested points of view.

2. (initial capital letter) one of a sect of Greek philosophers, 4th century b.c., who advocated the doctrines that virtue is the only good, that the essence of virtue is self-control, and that surrender to any external influence is beneath human dignity.

3. a person who shows or expresses a bitterly or sneeringly cynical attitude. –adjective

4. (initial capital letter) Also, Cynical. of or pertaining to the Cynics or their doctrines.

5. Medicine/Medical Now Rare. resembling the actions of a snarling dog.
[Origin: 1540–50; < L Cynicus < Gk Kynikós Cynic, lit., doglike, currish, equiv. to kyn- (s. of kýōn) dog + -ikos - ic]

—Synonyms 1, 3. skeptic, pessimist, misanthrope.



Ick. I want to learn how to look on the brighter side of things. I cannot be considered an optimist and also a cynic any longer!

Success and Stress Simultaneously!

I've been helping HB with his finances for the past couple weeks (while I"m temporarily living with him while my dad/boss is on vacation), and boy, I thought it was hard to just get him to relinquish control of ALL of his money, it is even more difficult getting him to see what good I was doing, and even more difficult yet to manage his money.

I am making headway, but it is really stressful taking over someone's money, beacuse in a sense, it becomes your money, so when there isn't enough cash flow to pay something, you feel like it is you that doesn't have enough to pay for something. When I started helping him, in fact, he was about $1,600 in debt. That doesn't work when you only make roughly $1,000-1,200/month. I started by telling him he had to stop spending ANY money, and relinquish control of it all to me. I am surprised to say, he agreed.

That doesn't mean that he was going to like it, though. After that, he wanted to know exactly what I was doing with every cent, and exactly before I had actually done anything with it. Hmpf. I told him that wasn't going to work for me, and he needed to give me time so that when I did something productive with his money, I would tell him where he's at as far as his money goes. Then it kept happening: the blowups at me when he "needed to be making a payment on a credit card" - with money he really didn't have (money he needed to save until a later date for something you have to schedule into your spending habits). Finally, the last time he did it, he seemed to see himself reacting to me, and I guess he didnt' like what he saw, because he later told me that he needed to, and I quote: "Master my pride." Breakthrough? It seems that way, and I'm glad.

But now I'm just stressed, because I am at the point with his money that he is reaping (and in a sense, I am reaping) the rewards of him overspending and not calculating bills/rent/needs. So I'm pulling my hair out, because now, he is going to have to continue what I've been doing, only spending a minimum of nothing a week, and pay me back at a later date (which I do not like). I just don't lend money to people. I know he's not just anyone, but if he doesn't follow through with what I'm showing him with his finances, I can kiss my cash goodbye. And it's disappointing, because I was making headway bulking up my savings and making my payments on time! Ahh!

Obviously, I feel really, really strongly about wanting to help HB, so I am going to stick it out. But I'll be damned if my vacation is turning into a stressor!

On a lighter note, last night I had blogged about another stressor, Chris, HB's acquaintance/friend, and ended up testing my conclusion. It worked great! I didn't get irritated at all; I ended up having a conversation with him about how if you want to get somewhere in life, you have to make plans, right? He was telling me simply that he's never made plans before, and it's worked great so far, because he knows himself, and he's gotten nowhere! It made me laugh, but it was also sadly pathetic. His apartment smelled of urine, alcohol and vomit. But, alas, success! HB said if I kept up the talking with Chris on those subjects, maybe I'd make an impact on him.

Anyway, success is sweet, but this time it's sorely bittersweet because of the stress I'm experiencing. I need a cocktail, and a hot bath. And perhaps, a big dick.

How Does One Ignore Stupid People?

You don't. They're everywhere, and impossible to get away from. I haven't posted on here for quite some time, it would seem. A lot has changed since that time, and a lot hasn't changed. I'm still figuring out who I am, and it can be really very exhausting sometimes, in figuring out how to deal with people, based on WHO I am, seeing as how I'm lacking that step in the process.

There are people at my boyfriend's workplace that I see and/or hear once in a while, and I have a hard time with it. I'm not exactly sure why, but I am sure that they annoy the socks off my feet. I am also sure that I would like to come up with a conclusion on how to stop the feeling from coming to my bones whenever they come up.

One idea I have is to, in my mind, imagine that they are missing on of their body parts, and to replace said body part with an object that is nearby, or simply an object that comes to mind. So, when I see Chris, he doesn't even have a head, his head is missing, and has been replaced with a pineapple. Or maybe one of the hams he handles in the deli at my boyfriend's work. And then, perhaps, he won't act so stupidly demented, because he won't have a head telling him to do and say all of the stupid things he does and says.

OR - maybe I should change my way of thinking of THIS particular person by treating his antics with a little honesty. Brutal honesty. He has a way of saying things that just... ASTONISH me. And I can think of many things to say to these things he blurts out of his disgusting face. The last time I thought of something to say to him (but alas, I did not blurt back), was when my boyfriend and I were trying to pick some ice cream, and Chris walked by, and said, "Don't you know that that stuff makes you fat?" And mind you, he has gained at least 60-70 lbs, and I really, REALLY wanted to say back to him, "Don't you know that? It doesn't look like you do. Hmm."

I have a hard time speaking up honestly (when it has to do with being brutally honest to fend off an annoying person), and I wish that I didn't have that problem. I get irritated a whole lot more when I can't spit something out that I really, REALLY wanted to spit out. But I have a really hard time with people who smother you, who KNOW that you don't like them, and they just don't stay the FUCK away.

So, pineapple-headed boy, the next time I see you in the distance, or you come up to me, I will have something brutally honest to say to you. And I will not feel bad. Not at all. Because I will have then conquered your stupidity.