Success and Stress Simultaneously!
I've been helping HB with his finances for the past couple weeks (while I"m temporarily living with him while my dad/boss is on vacation), and boy, I thought it was hard to just get him to relinquish control of ALL of his money, it is even more difficult getting him to see what good I was doing, and even more difficult yet to manage his money.
I am making headway, but it is really stressful taking over someone's money, beacuse in a sense, it becomes your money, so when there isn't enough cash flow to pay something, you feel like it is you that doesn't have enough to pay for something. When I started helping him, in fact, he was about $1,600 in debt. That doesn't work when you only make roughly $1,000-1,200/month. I started by telling him he had to stop spending ANY money, and relinquish control of it all to me. I am surprised to say, he agreed.
That doesn't mean that he was going to like it, though. After that, he wanted to know exactly what I was doing with every cent, and exactly before I had actually done anything with it. Hmpf. I told him that wasn't going to work for me, and he needed to give me time so that when I did something productive with his money, I would tell him where he's at as far as his money goes. Then it kept happening: the blowups at me when he "needed to be making a payment on a credit card" - with money he really didn't have (money he needed to save until a later date for something you have to schedule into your spending habits). Finally, the last time he did it, he seemed to see himself reacting to me, and I guess he didnt' like what he saw, because he later told me that he needed to, and I quote: "Master my pride." Breakthrough? It seems that way, and I'm glad.
But now I'm just stressed, because I am at the point with his money that he is reaping (and in a sense, I am reaping) the rewards of him overspending and not calculating bills/rent/needs. So I'm pulling my hair out, because now, he is going to have to continue what I've been doing, only spending a minimum of nothing a week, and pay me back at a later date (which I do not like). I just don't lend money to people. I know he's not just anyone, but if he doesn't follow through with what I'm showing him with his finances, I can kiss my cash goodbye. And it's disappointing, because I was making headway bulking up my savings and making my payments on time! Ahh!
Obviously, I feel really, really strongly about wanting to help HB, so I am going to stick it out. But I'll be damned if my vacation is turning into a stressor!
On a lighter note, last night I had blogged about another stressor, Chris, HB's acquaintance/friend, and ended up testing my conclusion. It worked great! I didn't get irritated at all; I ended up having a conversation with him about how if you want to get somewhere in life, you have to make plans, right? He was telling me simply that he's never made plans before, and it's worked great so far, because he knows himself, and he's gotten nowhere! It made me laugh, but it was also sadly pathetic. His apartment smelled of urine, alcohol and vomit. But, alas, success! HB said if I kept up the talking with Chris on those subjects, maybe I'd make an impact on him.
Anyway, success is sweet, but this time it's sorely bittersweet because of the stress I'm experiencing. I need a cocktail, and a hot bath. And perhaps, a big dick.
I am making headway, but it is really stressful taking over someone's money, beacuse in a sense, it becomes your money, so when there isn't enough cash flow to pay something, you feel like it is you that doesn't have enough to pay for something. When I started helping him, in fact, he was about $1,600 in debt. That doesn't work when you only make roughly $1,000-1,200/month. I started by telling him he had to stop spending ANY money, and relinquish control of it all to me. I am surprised to say, he agreed.
That doesn't mean that he was going to like it, though. After that, he wanted to know exactly what I was doing with every cent, and exactly before I had actually done anything with it. Hmpf. I told him that wasn't going to work for me, and he needed to give me time so that when I did something productive with his money, I would tell him where he's at as far as his money goes. Then it kept happening: the blowups at me when he "needed to be making a payment on a credit card" - with money he really didn't have (money he needed to save until a later date for something you have to schedule into your spending habits). Finally, the last time he did it, he seemed to see himself reacting to me, and I guess he didnt' like what he saw, because he later told me that he needed to, and I quote: "Master my pride." Breakthrough? It seems that way, and I'm glad.
But now I'm just stressed, because I am at the point with his money that he is reaping (and in a sense, I am reaping) the rewards of him overspending and not calculating bills/rent/needs. So I'm pulling my hair out, because now, he is going to have to continue what I've been doing, only spending a minimum of nothing a week, and pay me back at a later date (which I do not like). I just don't lend money to people. I know he's not just anyone, but if he doesn't follow through with what I'm showing him with his finances, I can kiss my cash goodbye. And it's disappointing, because I was making headway bulking up my savings and making my payments on time! Ahh!
Obviously, I feel really, really strongly about wanting to help HB, so I am going to stick it out. But I'll be damned if my vacation is turning into a stressor!
On a lighter note, last night I had blogged about another stressor, Chris, HB's acquaintance/friend, and ended up testing my conclusion. It worked great! I didn't get irritated at all; I ended up having a conversation with him about how if you want to get somewhere in life, you have to make plans, right? He was telling me simply that he's never made plans before, and it's worked great so far, because he knows himself, and he's gotten nowhere! It made me laugh, but it was also sadly pathetic. His apartment smelled of urine, alcohol and vomit. But, alas, success! HB said if I kept up the talking with Chris on those subjects, maybe I'd make an impact on him.
Anyway, success is sweet, but this time it's sorely bittersweet because of the stress I'm experiencing. I need a cocktail, and a hot bath. And perhaps, a big dick.
Labels: big dick, control, disappointment, finances, payments, pride, stress, success
posted by Sea Change at 4:58 PM
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