Fiancee's "friend."

Things with Fiancee's friend have gotten worse after given a little time. I tried making friends with him, but he is just not the type of person I can be around. Let me explain:

Fiancee's friend is twenty (almost twenty-one), and he ran away from home at age sixteen. He went to California, and lived on the streets for quite some time, at least a couple years apparently. He also was a heavy drug user for that time.

He moved back to Washington in January, and got a job where Fiancee works. They became friends, and started hanging out. Then they started hanging out a little too often. In my opinion, that means that they hung out anywhere from 3-4 times a week to 5-6 times a week. And Fiancee started letting him stay overnight. Fiancee has always been very good at making sure to okay the visit or whatever with me, but after I while, I felt a little trapped into letting him come over. I shouldn't have, either. It was my fault in some sense for letting it happen.

His friend then started calling me at home when he knew Patrick was at work, and asking if I wanted to hang out, or if the three of us could hang out. (I think that he realized over time that I was the weaker vessle in the relationship, and that he could easily get a ride home from me, or a favor here, a favor there... you know the pattern.)

Then he started showing up while high, and was acting a little crazy -- jumping around the apartment, making bizarre statements that made no sense, throwing things once in a while (like pillows, remote control, etc.) I started showing a little concern over his being around so much, and his behavior, also. Fiancee felt I was not giving his friend enough of a chance, and so I gave him another chance. He kept doing the same thing, and his behavior was really starting to make me genuinely uncomfortable. We would agree to hang out, Fiancee and I would drive to his apartment (which he shares with about four or five incredibly irresponsible, trashy human being around his age group.) He goes inside to get something, and then comes out, and asks us to wait up there with him, and I went along with Patrick, because I didn't want to stay in the truck without him. We wait up there for about half an hour, and obviously they're all pretty stoned, and I was uncomfortable with that, too. I said I was leaving, and he and his friend come to the truck with me, and his friend hops in the back, I back out of the slot, and we start moving... his friend suddenly jumps up in the back of the truck, and tells me to stop. He says his roommates are driving him crazy, and he needs to go. (I'm like, whatever, I didn't want you over, anyway!)

Later he tells us that his roommate that depends on him (whatever that's supposed to mean) gave him a pouty face and told him he was sad that Fiancee's friend wasn't staying there with them. So he just decides to go hang out with someone else after Fiancee, him and I have already made plans. That's extremely rude. I think he did it on purpose, just to get a ride home.

The last time Fiancee's friend was around was earlier this week. I was cleaning house on a really pleasant day, I had the windows open, listening to music, cleaning... and his friend knocks on the door. He says he just decided to drop by. (I'm thinking, right, you want me to do you some kind of favor.) So he chats me up for a bit, acting really weird, and then he asks if I will give him a ride to someone's house. And that he wants to hang out. Right! I wasn't having that. So he calls Fiancee at work, and chats him up, and then asks if we can hang out. Fiancee says ask me... and I say, whatever Fiancee wants to do (because I was doing him a favor; he's had a bad day).

Only it doesn't stop there -- Fiancee's friend then starts asking Fiancee if he thinks I could give him a ride, and that it would make him so happy... blah, blah, blah. Fiancee says it's up to me. I talk to Fiancee for a minute and decide that I'm tired of being alone in the apartment with Fiancee's friend, so I tell Fiancee that I'm coming to his work for his lunch break. I get off the phone.

"Please, please, please?" says Fiancee's friend.

"Please what?" I say.

"Please, please, please.... please?!"

I roll my eyes.

"Please would you take me to my friend's house?"

I am disgusted, and he knows it. I tell him we're going to meet Fiancee at work in a half hour. I turn the volume on the movie I'm watching up, in an obvious sign that I don't want to talk, I want it quiet.

He gets up and gets my phone, and starts talking to someone, really loud. He talks to that person for fifteen minutes, and then calls someone else. He talks to that person for a half hour, about sex, how nice my ass is, how nice my "torso" is, and how much he wants to see this person, and how nice "That sex was last night. I wish we could have sex right now. Maybe Rachel will give me a ride..."

I took him to the store to meet Fiancee, and he starts acting like a child. I mean ridiculously childish --

You know how big stores have all of those big beams everywhere? He walks up to one, and licks it. He says, "Wow, that's what metal tastes like!" And then he tells me to lick it. I turn away, looking for Fiancee. He then picks up a huge watermelon, and hugs it. I mean, squeezes it, and puts his face against it. He then gives it to me (he would've dropped it if I hadn't taken it). He says, "Hug it!" I put it down, and go looking for Fiancee. I find him waiting for a restroom, and Fiancee's friend follows me over, and stands in front of me, five or ten feet away, and hurls a potato at my head before exclaiming, "Catch!" I had to duck quickly, or it would've hit me, and hard.

I give Fiancee a look, and I start walking slowly in the oposite direction of this stupid idiot who's acting like a four-year-old. I get fifty feet away, and start walking faster. I walk all the way around the outside of the building, and get in my truck, and pull away just as I see Fiancee and the complete idiot in my rearview mirror.

Now at this point, Fiancee's friend is finished. He's pushed me TOO far.

I had several talks with Fiancee about all of this (because he was oblivious to most all of it), and he suggests I talk to him about how I feel. I decide I might write him an e-mail, explaining, and ENDING his haning around me, at least. I couldn't get Fiancee to stop hanging out with him, so I've taken myself out of the equasion.

Now I'm just nervous at finding out how his friend will respond to my e-mail, because he is such an unpredictable person. I am staying home, not visiting Fiancee at work. I don't want to deal with it. Maybe after a while, Fiancee will get tired of my not coming by his work on his breaks, and do something about this person himself.

In the meantime, I feel better at least for confronting the situation, and making an important decision for myself. I have a very hard time being assertive, and I feel I've handled the situation well. Now to just soothe my nerves today...

I just cannot believe that I let all of this get so far before deciding to cut it off. It was ridiculous and childish in hindsight, and I shouldn't feel bad for ending this problem. I feel better already about making this decision.