Chester the Cat

My kitty has been gone since early yesterday morning. I had been exhausted when I went to bed, and when I heard him meow early in the morning to get inside, I didn't get up and let him in, because I needed sleep. I haven't seen him since. I should've let him inside, but now I'm extremely torn up about my Chester being gone. I hope that he comes back, but only part of me thinks that he will. He has never been gone for more than a couple hours, or half a day, and now he's been gone for almost two days. I feel like my world is crumbling around me, and before Chester was my refuge in a way, and now all I can do is look for where he used to be -- behind the couch, on one of the chairs, curled up; sprawled out on the wood floor, making himself look like a pure brown cat by rolling around in the dirt, running up to the trailer when I come in at night, responding to my calling his name, meowing in the middle of the night because he's lonely or wants to play... I can always get another cat, but I was under the impression that I wouldn't have to get another one for quite some time. I've only had Chester for less than a year, and he's already gone. I've had so many cats over the years, and they've all gone missing, gotten hit by cars, been driven to run away, gotten hurt by other animals... and I was really careful with this cat, and he was the closest I've been to any cat I've had. He helped me get through the changes I've endured the past year. He's my snuggly kitty. I didn't want another cat, I wanted this one. He's special, and I was the only one he really liked and snuggled around. When he cuddled with me, he would rub his chin into me, and my shirt would be wet when he had had enough time to cuddle. He had awesome glowing yellow-amber eyes, and a scarf pattern of white across his front over his black fur. I never liked black cats, but this one was special, and very handsome, with the glossiest black coat of fur I've ever seen. I really don't think I'll ever see him again. And I fear it's my fault for not letting him inside. Instead he got scared and ran away, and probably got lost. And I have no control over if he comes back or not.

I can only look for him where he used to be.