"All you wanted me to do was apologize?"
This is a rant.
HB went out the other night with two of the nastiest girls at his work, and drank with them. The next day, he went to work and they nasty girls had told everyone what a great time they had (wink, wink), and so everyone had thought they had all slept together, or at least that one of them had slept with HB.
And HB decided to disclose all of this in detail to me, along with all of the flirting that was coming his direction, and did NOT bother to mention that he did not enjoy himself, and that he would never do it again (which he later said, after I told him I was upset about what I had heard). In my opinion, I reacted quite well considering how most other women would react. He decided that it wasn't fair for me to react this way, and that instead of apologizing and talking it out, he decided he wanted to argue, and not say that he regretted doing it or that he wouldn't do it anymore, or that he wouldn't tell me details, or not let people get a bad impression of me because of the things HE does with his time...
He is sometimes just so shallow. I'm pissed at him. I wanted to see him this weekend, partly because he wanted to see me after our visit earlier this week, but when I asked if he still wanted to hang out on Friday, he said he wasn't sure. So I said I wouldn't come if he wasn't sure if he wanted me to be there, for lots of reasons, DUH, and he got pissy.
AND I am having to work overtime to pay off his phone bill (because it's still in my name, and if I don't pay it off it will reflect badly on my credit) so that he can keep his phone. He chooses to spend his money on things he does NOT need, and that are expensive, and usually illegal, and then whines to me when he doesn't have enough money for bills and payments and all of the things he DOES need.
He tries telling me that it isn't fair that I can hang out with guys alone and he can't hang out with girls alone -- I NEVER hang out with men alone. NEVER. That has been my rule, and I don't feel comfortable doing it because I KNOW myself better than to put myself in a situation that I would feel tempted to cheat or do something that would harm HB or myself. I've been there, done that. One rule of a relationships is to NOT bring up past baggage that was difficult and time-constraining to get over. You just don't. Not unless you want a whole different argument to start up, that is. But maybe he was in the mood to argue.
So. I told him that if he wasn't in the mood to make up, then neither was I, and I hoped he had a good weekend, and that I would talk to him later, as I needed to go do something productive with my time, as this conversation was obviously not such.
And then he said, "All you wanted me to do was apologize?"
!!!!!!!!!???!!!!!!!!!!
The only good thing that came of the phone conversation is we decided we should spend time together when we both have some cash flow, so that we can actually go out and do things we can BOTH enjoy, rather than staying in a stupid f'ing apartment and watching him get stoned, and then watching him get horny as hell, and then watching myself get pissed as hell at him for being such a dumbshit, and getting mad at myself at that point for even going up there at all, instead of doing my own thing, figuring MY life out, and enjoying my free time.
HB went out the other night with two of the nastiest girls at his work, and drank with them. The next day, he went to work and they nasty girls had told everyone what a great time they had (wink, wink), and so everyone had thought they had all slept together, or at least that one of them had slept with HB.
And HB decided to disclose all of this in detail to me, along with all of the flirting that was coming his direction, and did NOT bother to mention that he did not enjoy himself, and that he would never do it again (which he later said, after I told him I was upset about what I had heard). In my opinion, I reacted quite well considering how most other women would react. He decided that it wasn't fair for me to react this way, and that instead of apologizing and talking it out, he decided he wanted to argue, and not say that he regretted doing it or that he wouldn't do it anymore, or that he wouldn't tell me details, or not let people get a bad impression of me because of the things HE does with his time...
He is sometimes just so shallow. I'm pissed at him. I wanted to see him this weekend, partly because he wanted to see me after our visit earlier this week, but when I asked if he still wanted to hang out on Friday, he said he wasn't sure. So I said I wouldn't come if he wasn't sure if he wanted me to be there, for lots of reasons, DUH, and he got pissy.
AND I am having to work overtime to pay off his phone bill (because it's still in my name, and if I don't pay it off it will reflect badly on my credit) so that he can keep his phone. He chooses to spend his money on things he does NOT need, and that are expensive, and usually illegal, and then whines to me when he doesn't have enough money for bills and payments and all of the things he DOES need.
He tries telling me that it isn't fair that I can hang out with guys alone and he can't hang out with girls alone -- I NEVER hang out with men alone. NEVER. That has been my rule, and I don't feel comfortable doing it because I KNOW myself better than to put myself in a situation that I would feel tempted to cheat or do something that would harm HB or myself. I've been there, done that. One rule of a relationships is to NOT bring up past baggage that was difficult and time-constraining to get over. You just don't. Not unless you want a whole different argument to start up, that is. But maybe he was in the mood to argue.
So. I told him that if he wasn't in the mood to make up, then neither was I, and I hoped he had a good weekend, and that I would talk to him later, as I needed to go do something productive with my time, as this conversation was obviously not such.
And then he said, "All you wanted me to do was apologize?"
!!!!!!!!!???!!!!!!!!!!
The only good thing that came of the phone conversation is we decided we should spend time together when we both have some cash flow, so that we can actually go out and do things we can BOTH enjoy, rather than staying in a stupid f'ing apartment and watching him get stoned, and then watching him get horny as hell, and then watching myself get pissed as hell at him for being such a dumbshit, and getting mad at myself at that point for even going up there at all, instead of doing my own thing, figuring MY life out, and enjoying my free time.
posted by Sea Change at 12:36 PM
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