Strong enough to live in another city away from companion for a couple months?
HB is not supporting my looking for a new job. I made the decision that my current job is not what I want at this point in my life. It is a great direction, and one that I would enjoy, but I am just not old enough to be as good at it as I want, and I am not taken seriously enough for it to be okay. After I made this decision, we came to the conclusion that if I were to change jobs, I wouldn't have the same reasons for staying in an apartment in a different city than him, so we are moving in together in a new apartment up here, where his current job is, and I am looking for a job in this area.
However, I am staying at my current job until I find another one, obviously. BUT - HB wants me to find a temporary job so that I can move in with him in the old apartment NOW instead of me taking some time to find one that I really want. I am getting frustrated with him not showing a little more support to me in my new quest, because I was under the impression that I wouldn't have to look for another job EVER if the appraisal thing worked out. But it didn't, and now he's got this attitude, like I have to do things the way HE did things when we were first starting out - like it has to be just as hard for me to find a job as it was for him.
He doesn't understand that the circumstances now are different than what they were when we first moved in together. He doesn't understand that it is a difficult, stressful thing for me to go out on a limb and get another job. And now he prefers it if I don't tell him about my progress in finding a job, either, so I can't talk to my companion about something important going on in my life, and it SUCKS. It's bullshit, really. What is so important that he isn't supportive? He is usually so supportive.
I'm a little frustrated right now, and I am about to move back temporarily to my home town and my apartment, without him, and I have a very hard time being without him. I like being alone, but I am also very comfortable knowing that he is going to be home at some point. I get lonely very fast, and very easily. It builds up and builds up, and then I find myself driving a half hour to see him, and then I have to drive back home, and then I don't sleep long enough, and then I'm alone again...
I need to find a way to be strong when I'm not with him.
However, I am staying at my current job until I find another one, obviously. BUT - HB wants me to find a temporary job so that I can move in with him in the old apartment NOW instead of me taking some time to find one that I really want. I am getting frustrated with him not showing a little more support to me in my new quest, because I was under the impression that I wouldn't have to look for another job EVER if the appraisal thing worked out. But it didn't, and now he's got this attitude, like I have to do things the way HE did things when we were first starting out - like it has to be just as hard for me to find a job as it was for him.
He doesn't understand that the circumstances now are different than what they were when we first moved in together. He doesn't understand that it is a difficult, stressful thing for me to go out on a limb and get another job. And now he prefers it if I don't tell him about my progress in finding a job, either, so I can't talk to my companion about something important going on in my life, and it SUCKS. It's bullshit, really. What is so important that he isn't supportive? He is usually so supportive.
I'm a little frustrated right now, and I am about to move back temporarily to my home town and my apartment, without him, and I have a very hard time being without him. I like being alone, but I am also very comfortable knowing that he is going to be home at some point. I get lonely very fast, and very easily. It builds up and builds up, and then I find myself driving a half hour to see him, and then I have to drive back home, and then I don't sleep long enough, and then I'm alone again...
I need to find a way to be strong when I'm not with him.
posted by Sea Change at 5:08 PM
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